Say what you mean - Part I
I see it often with my kids. One of them will come to me crying because of some great injustice. Just a little bit of probing reveals that their ‘injury’ is minor and that they’re more upset at what was intended to harm them. We learn this and perfect it as we grow older.
Remember the last time someone cut you off on the freeway? Or when your child repeatedly disobeyed you? I do and both times my reaction was beyond what was appropriate. I’ve been reading a little book by Richard Baxter on anger management. I don’t consider myself to have ‘anger issues’ but it is an area for me to improve. Baxter discusses occasions when anger is sinful. Some examples:
- When it disturbs our reason, and hinders us from thinking rightly.
- When it causes us to act unbecomingly, so as to use sinful words or actions.
- When it is greater in measure than that which provoked the anger.
What’s my point? I think a lot of us, me included, feign anger, hurt, many other things, for personal and selfish reasons. When things are not going our way we try to redirect the situation. There may be circumstances where this can be justified, but think about it the next time it’s not. What’s a better way to respond? For someone who does this all the time, watch Everybody Love Raymond.